Saturday, June 17, 2006

feeling a bit blue

These flowers caught my eye at the grocery store yesterday, sitting all alone in the flower tub, surrounded by bright sprays of golden yellow and white daisies, crimson mums, and the other more common flowers. I was hypnotized by the beauty of the single varigated blue and violet petals that delicately surrounded the nubbly golden centers. Without another thought I bought the entire bunch. When I got back to my car, I positioned the brown paper grocery bag so as not to disturb the flowers that were delicated positioned in the bag's center, the whole lot gently leaning towards the front seat. It was only then that I noticed one of the flower heads doubled over, snapped at the neck. I picked up the bouquet and as I examined it further, I noticed several of the other flowers had broken necks as well. I had been so enchanted with the rich color and texture of the whole arrangement, that I had neglected to see the individual flowers. That probably explains why no one else had bought them. It was a good lesson for me, reminding me how limited my sight can be when I get carried away in the moment with emotion, and how very different that reality can look when I look deeply and really "see". I put all the beautiful little petal heads into a water-filled crystal bowl that had once belonged to my mother. I actually like the arrangement in the bowl better than the stalks now in the vase. Everything feels a bit sad and poignant today. As the wedding steadily approaches, I'm having to let go of my baby girl, in yet a different and new way, yet another stage of being a parent. I remember so clearly when her dad and I were the loves of her life. Although it was a long time ago that she was that tiny little girl, this wedding is another severing, another reminder that she has moved on without me. I know it's a good thing, it's the best, raising our children to be strong and independent. It's just so hard each time we have to let go, yet again.

Walter is getting a half hour dance lesson today. He's meeting Marissa at the studio. They'll get a private half-hour session to familiarize him with the basic moves he'll need to know for the father-of-the-bride/bride dance. Marissa chose the song "Daddy's Little Girl" by Al Martino...I KNOW there is going to be some very wet eyes during that dance :-)


Aubrey said...

Mine is still that tiny little girl. I'm sure she'll grow up way too fast and before I know it, I'll be in your shoes.

Misty Mawn said...

Dear Katie, I smiled about the flowers...being bent and you realizing it after your spontaneous purchase...letting yourself get carried away, later to see that the flowers had broken, yet, you took the broken flowers and made the very most out of them! It's good to get carried away! xoxox

Naturegirl said...

I sense the gentle spirit in you as I read this post about how you cared for these little "blue wonders" and placed them in a cyrstal bowl! I was drawn to your site by the words you left at Corey's post..your mother's spoons ..well her spirit with them and how timiely that you should find them just before your daughters wedding! I am always looking for a message from spirits whom we hold in hearts forever!! :) P.S. Congrats on wedding!
My children are both married and happily!