under the morning moon

the early morning skies are amazing here in the spring. here is what i woke up to when i padded out of bed this morning and stepped outside into the cool morning air; i couldn't ask for a better start to my monday.

my mother's day felt full and productive. i spent the morning hours emptying books out of our bookshelves into three piles: goodwill, keep, sell. we have a huge book collection, so many that the solidness of the wall of books felt too dense for me, i need space - lots of empty space. So the house is going on a much needed purge; furniture is being rearranged and/or discarded. i'm painting over all the cream colored walls in the living room/dinging room a beautiful warm creamy yellow. i've started the painting and hope to complete these rooms sometime early this week. we ordered a beautiful area rug to go over the carpet in the living room - which will also brighten up and cheer the place. i'm also doing a major redo in my studio ( where one of the living room bookcases ended up) so hopefully i will become a more organized artist and can find the many missing treasures now buried in that space.


marissa came over just after noon bearing a lovely bouquet of flowers for me. we sat and drank tea, talked and laughed while we addressed 100 wedding invitations and 100 more return envelopes containing RSVP's. a memorable way to spend my mother's day, with my youngest daughter, my baby, yet soon to be a bride. i feel happiness tinged in sadness; i'm happy that she is happy, like all mothers i want her to create a happy and fullfilling life for herself, the sadness fills in the empty spaces, she is all grown up, her room is empty, her bed unslept in.
i'm still reckoning with the changes that go with this chapter of my life; the big empty nest, watching and feeling the ways my body is aging and recognizing those changes in my partner as well, and then staring into this abyss of freedom and openness - this later part of my life, as it waits to be filled with the me living from this new place.