Forgiveness is holiness, by forgiveness the universe is held together

--- Mahabharata

a page in my personal journal

the day before thanksgiving

i've spent the morning catching up in my november journal; this round robin will come to a close in December and then we'll all get our books back, I can't wait to see all the artwork people have done. Lou's theme is 'flying'; here is one of the pages i did.

now it's time to take a wee nap, then bake the turkey, dressing, and apple pie for tomorrow. I've already made the mashed potatoes, sweet potatoe casserole, and the fresh cranberry sauce. Heather is making the pumpkin pie (her first pie) and i'll make fresh rolls in the morning. then all i have to do is heat everything up and i can spend the day playing instead of working in the kitchen. Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends here in the US!

another rainy day

I like rainy days and it's a darn good thing beingI live in the Pacific Northwest! I feel all cozy and warm in the house today, sitting here at the computer, drinking a steaming cup of hot Numi Water Sprite Ginger Oolong tea (thank you, Misty!) with honey - so satisfying. My day started at 4:00 AM; for some reason I was wide awake and ready to get rolling. I've got several things on my 'to do' list done, most are still undone, but that's okay - it's early.

I wanted to share a bit about my wonderful weekend in Portland, it was so much fun - just what I needed, lots of girl time and art time. Judy Wise is a wonderful teacher and talented artist; she generously shared a wealth of information with us all. I learned so many new things, the biggest being reverse painting, which I had never done. We did the paintings on acetate, but plexiglass and regular glass are other great options I would like to try. We experimented on small pieces in the morning, learning the techniques; in the afternoon, we started our large pieces. Diane brought all the materials, even mats to put our finished paintings in. She even made us little booklets where we could attach our small pieces and take notes. It also included information about supplies and techniques. It was a wonderful class in every way, I'm so grateful I was able to attend.

Judy and I stayed with Diane from Friday to Sunday, it felt like a slumber party, it really did! We ate, ate, ate.... did I mention that Diane is the most amazing cook? She created a wonderful spread for the workshop lunch as well as the additional meals for Judy and I. Talk about pampered, thank you SO much Diane, you are a real sweetheart. When the three of us weren't eating, drinking wine or telling stories, we were working on our art journals or other art projects. We were up till the wee hours of the night. I made 2 wonderful new friends that weekend and was inspired by all of my fellow artists during the workshop; a truly amazing weekend. Judy posted several photos on her blog, so you can head over there if youd like to see them.

This is the big piece I made. Everyone brought photos or pictures, but rebel that I am, I just wanted to create from my head and just have fun exploring the materials. Judy was supportive of us doing what we were drawn to do .... for me, that meant creating this odd little girl. I can't wait to go back to Innerstandings in January to teach the Feminine Icon mixed media collage class.

road trip, road trip!

okay, not a long one, but i am driving down to Portland for the weekend, a good three hours from here. i leave in an hour and all my bags are packed (not!! I'm still in my pj's). but i do have my mp3 player by the door loaded with songs recommended by several of you that I'll be listening to the whole way. and of course my camera is sitting there too, with freshly charged batteries.

what's the occasion, you might wonder. Well, it's two-fold; tomorrow i am so excited to be taking Judy Wise's reverse painting class. She was invited to come and teach by Diane Havnen-Smith of Innerstandings, who has guest artists come once a month to teach workshops. It's an intimate environment, the class is small and so there is lots of time to personally interact with the teachers. I'm thrilled it worked out that I could be one of the participants as I'm such an admirer of Judy Wise's colorful and often whimsical paintings. This is the same place where I will be teaching a Feminine Icon workshop on January 27th. Diane has graciously invited me to be her house guest for the weekend, so I''m looking forward to spending time getting to know her and Judy. She mentioned something about making pumpkin pancakes for breakfast Sunday morning...yum. We're going to walk about the Sellwood area of Portland on Sunday weather permitting (no rain, please). I haven't been to that neighborhood in 20 years, so it will be interesting to see how it's changed. I expect I'll be taking lots of photos too, some of which i'll share when i return. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, talk to you again soon.

the journey

today's painting

For Sale on Etsy

just because it pleases me

More practice drawing. i'm having so much fun with this drawing-every-day goal. although the results aren't always truly representational, i'm learning so much that i'm sure i'll incorporate somehow into my artwork. i experimented with charcoal in this one. i haven't really done any painting or fiber art these days but i'm making sure i do this. thanks to all of you who have been leaving comments - I appreciate them all!

surpassing the sounds of ordinary speech - Take 2

*sold*
I re-did the painting i posted a couple days ago, something just bothered me about it, and try as i might, i couldn't make it right. So i pasted the face of the sketch i did today and touched her up with colored pencils; I like this version much better.

more practice

today's drawing; i noticed my emotions ran the gamut of excitement to frustration to determination to intense observation, etc.... so far i've been keeping my comittment to myself and drawing every day for 20 minutes --- YAY me!!!

The Song

From somewhere
a calm musical note arrives.
You balance it on your tongue,
a single ripe grape, till your whole body glistens.
In the space between breaths
you apply it to any wound
and the wound heals.

Soon the nights will lengthen,

you will lean into the year

humming like a saw.

You will fill the lamps with kerosene,

knowing somewhere a line breaks,

a city goes black,

people dig for candles in the bottom drawer.

You will be ready. You will use the song like a match.

It will fill your rooms

opening rooms of its own

so you sing, I did not know

my house was this large.

------Naomi Shihab Nye

a practice sketch

After reading DJ Pettitt's last couple posts, i'm motivated to start drawing. i've always been afraid of drawing and never been good at realistic renditions, but i'd really like to be. i'm going to start with 20 minutes a day, which will probably turn into longer because it is so much fun, the goal is the regularity of the practice. here is drawing one, a picture of a woman in a book. I used the position of her hands and body in the last painting i did. i turned the book upside down to draw her as that works much better for me at this point. someday, i hope to be able to draw things right side up so i won't have to stand on my head :-)

there is an very talented artist in our community who is willing to give me drawing lessons in her studio; i'm planning on doing that after the holidays.

I hope you're all having a great monday!

surpassing the sounds of ordinary speech

for sale on etsy

rain flowing down my window

sitting here at my desk, listening to rhythmically sensual sound of stanley turrentine and his band.
the rains comes down, in streams or trickles but constant - typical weather for the northwest this time of year. i wonder why no one told us when we signed up for satellite service for the internet that rain and clouds may (will!) interrupt our service... for pete's sake, we live in the northwest, i think that's kind of an important detail to omit. we would have gotten it away probably, i don't ever want to go back to dial-up.

this poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer touched my heart this morning, and i wanted to share it with you all.



It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. or fade it
or fix it.


I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.


It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.

I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

grand farewell

Morning temperatures are in the twenties now, heavy frosts. i took a photo of this beautiful pink rose at twilight last night, using my macro and flash. one last breathtaking image of this gorgeous creature before she joins her leaves already scattered on the ground below.

a prayer to grow wings

i spent a couple hours painting in the studio, time just for me. this is what came out. i can't say i like it or i don't like it. it felt good putting paint to paper and now i'm moving on.

7
For years and years I struggled
just to love my life. And then

the butterfly
rose, weightless, in the wind.
"Don't love your life
too much," it said,

and vanished
into the world.
---Mary Oliver

busy with art i can't show you

for the past two days, i've been working on 12 gifts for an artists' gift exchange called 'the twelve days of christmas hostessed by the creative and organized Lelainia Lloyd of Tattered edge. unfortunately, Shhhhhhhh.....it's a secret, so i can't show you what i made but i can show you the pile of wrapped packages. Take a look at the beautiful tag attached to each gift, they are from Laini's Ladies collection, created by the amazingly talented Laini Taylor, aka Grow Wings .

i need to go set up my table at the autumn puget artist's league art show tomorrow. it's funny because puget artist's league stands for PAL; the only rule is that there are no rules, and no meeting - friends from the area just get together twice a year for a community art show. this will be my first, i've baled at the last minute for the past couple years. i feel like bailing again but i am going to ignore that thought and spread my introverted wings and go. i do enjoy meeting other artists and folks from the community and i'll probably have a good time. reading this poem, one of my favorites, by poet naomi shihab nye, always makes me smile and muster up courage from somewhere.

The Art of Disappearing

When they say Don't I know you?

say no.
When they invite you to the party
remember what parties are like
before answering.

Someone telling you in a loud voice
they once wrote a poem.
Greasy sausage balls on a paper plate.
Then reply.

If they say We should get together
say why?

It's not that you don't love them anymore.
You're trying to remember something
too important to forget.
Trees. The monastery bell at twilight.

Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished.

When someone recognizes you in a grocery store
nod briefly and become a cabbage.
When someone you haven't seen in ten years
appears at the door,
don't start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.

Walk around feeling like a leaf.
Know you could tumble any second.
Then decide what to do with your time.

reflections on the falling leaves

i do love the wind. i'm sitting at my desk, watching the poplars and maples release their yellowed and brown leaves to the wind, each day less cover hiding brown bark bodies. the leaves are gorgeous, i do appreciate their suble and dramatic colors, the way they know how to float, tumble, or sail away from the tree branch, the only home they've ever known, to land somewhere unknown.

two days ago, the wind here was gusting, a sky of leaves, flying, floating. sailing, tossing about. standing in my yard, i bent over a pile of these gathering leaves, mainly big leaves from our giant maple tree, now as tall as the house. sadness washed over me as i picked up one leaf after another, noticing how each one was so unique, different from all the others, but bunched up one on top of the other, i tended to overlook them, see them only as a pile now. each autumn heralds pensive days, weeks, or months where beautiful and poignant feelings course through veins of meloncholy. I've come to expect this visitor, although there is little i can do to prepare for her. she just stays until she moves on, she has a room here, and will come and go as she pleases, heaven knows, even after all these years, i can't know her schedule.

anyway, back to fallen leaves. looking at the pile i had gathered in my hands, it occured to me that i needed to acknowledge them in some way, to say 'i see you - i saw you when you were a bud on the branch, when you grew into the beautiful vibrant green leaf that shown the greenest green in the sunlight, and i see you now, making your grand exit into the world of soil and stones. I had this ridiculous compulsion to pick up every leaf i could find and take a picture of it. when i look at something through my camera lense, i focus, i see what is there in my lense. i felt the leaves deserved that respect, to be seen. you may read this and think "she is being ridiculous, just silly", but these thoughts and feeling are compelling and true. of course i could never photograph them all, and i would certainly get bored of doing it after a very short while to be honest, but i did arrange my handful of leaves, one by one, on the deck, and took each of their photographs. i intend to do a piece with this collection of photos and thoughts, probably in my private journal one day. it's strange how these small acts feel so important sometimes, the deeper meaning wanting to be known, experienced.