joyouslybecoming

2007-01-04T23:04:00.000-08:00

**I've MoVed!!**

Please come and visit me at my new blog address:

http://joyouslybecoming.typepad.com/

2006-12-29T15:17:00.000-08:00

Holidays

The holiest of all holidays are those
Kept by ourselves in silence and apart;
The secret anniversaries of the heart,
When the full river of feeling overflows;--
The happy days unclouded to their close;
The sudden joys that out of darkness start
As flames from ashes; swift desires that dart
Like swallows singing down each wind that blows!
White as the gleam of a receding sail,
White as a cloud that floats and fades in air,
White as the whitest lily on a stream,
These tender memories are;--a fairy tale
Of some enchanted land we know not where,
But lovely as a landscape in a dream.

---Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

This is a photo I took of the fog rolling in as the sun went down over our field. I'll be back blogging soon with words of my own and more photos. Wishing you all a joyous New Year!

Winter Solstice

2006-12-21T13:10:00.000-08:00

my thoughts are with the earth today

the changing seasons

moving from the darkest day of the year

towards the lightest

once again

on my walk today i found these

lovely tissue-paper-thin leaves

clinging to moss-covered trees

transparent skeletons

form a perfect reminder of the darkness

we're leaving behind

i collected a handful

and ironed them flat

between snow white

tissue

these leaves

how beautiful and delicate they are

still.

On the Nineth Day of Christmas...

2006-12-21T10:40:00.000-08:00

A personalized pendant made of a brass stencil and vintage ephemera made by Crystal
Such an original piece of art, creative and very cool!

She's homeward bound

2006-12-21T06:28:00.000-08:00

Marissa's flight arrives this evening and we get her for 5 days, i'm so excited and happy - i know the time will go all too fast but i'm going to enjoy every second! many of you know what a rough year she's had (this is a photo i took before she left last july) but this strong young woman has made her mama proud and is creating a beautiful life for herself, new job, finishing her degree, new friends and a boyfriend she is quite serious about. which is why she will be leaving Minneapolis the day after she gets back, and moving to Denver Colorado, where the two of them can continue dating without him flying her to Denver every other weekend. She got a transfer from the bank she's now working at, so she's got a job waiting for her there, a room ready for her in a house with a couple other college girls (thanks to Craigs list) and she was accepted into University of Colorado Denver's business school, and will start up with her classes in a couple weeks (i can't believe i have a daughter who *loves* math, she takes after her dad in that way, certainly not me!). She is super busy, like any working college student, but she is excited with her new life. I am SO thankful every day for the 'wedding-that-never-was'.

Another Blustery Day

2006-12-20T10:39:00.001-08:00

The weather is cloudy and rainy; another rain and wind storm is on the way. Hopefully we'll get through this smaller one without losing power but just in case we do, I plan to make one of my favorite soups (i've been making it for over twenty years) that I can warm up on the wood stove if I have to. This soup is comfort food at its best; you know the kind of food that tastes and feels so good in your tummy that you just don't want to quit eating it? This is one of those soups, and it's easy-peasy to make. It's from The cookbook Diet For A Small Planet by Frances Moore Lappe.

Turkish Barley-Buttermilk Soup

Saute 2 large chopped onions in some olive oil

Add and stir till lightly toasted 1 cup barley

When onion is well browned add 5 cups of stock

Cook until barley is well done - about 45 minutes.

Remove from heat and let it cool a bit, than slowly add 2 cups of buttermilk or yogurt, add more stock if it's too thick. Sprinkle in about 1 tsp of dill (more of less according to taste) and stir in a bit of butter. Voila!- it's ready to eat, enjoy!

On the Eighth Day of Christmas...

2006-12-20T09:59:00.000-08:00

A beautiful cd collage with a soaring bird made by Liz Smith ; isn't it just fabulous?! And another bird theme; i love birds, and like so many others, i can never get too much of them.

12 Days of Christmas - Catching Up

2006-12-19T10:44:00.000-08:00

because of the power outage, i was unable to show you gifts 3 - 7; here they are:

day 3: a beautiful 4" x 4" collage on canvas created by Edina Tien

day 4: a sweet little collaged notebook created by Deb Lewis, the perfect size for my purse

day 5: a lovely pendant made by Kristen Robinson

day6: is the day the gals opened the gift from me, a 4" x 4" mixed media collage on canvas board coated with beeswax.

day 7: this cool paper book necklace from Penelope

some journal pages

2006-12-18T18:26:00.000-08:00

i promise to photo and post pictures of gifts 3 - 7 on my blog tomorrow. time got away from me today and before i knew it, it was too dark to get good shots. while the power was out, i did catch up on some of my art comittments - i made these five pages for Reiny Rizzi's calendar journal.

back on the grid again

2006-12-18T09:41:00.000-08:00

we've got power again, how exciting! you don't realize how much of your life is entwined with electricity until you don't have it. i spent lots (most of my time) in the studio, day and night. I bundled up and lit the candles at 4:00 when it got dark - I kind of enjoyed the whole experience actually, except for the feeling a bit cold and no hot showers :-)

anyway, i'll be catching up with photos today so you all can see the 12 Days of Christmas packages i've been opening. it was so much fun to have a little gift each day to open, it warmed my heart.

Power outage here

2006-12-17T19:53:00.000-08:00

the storm took out our power as well as 1.5 million other peoples. it's been three days now and we still don't have any power - it could be 3-4 days or longer till they get to us, so i wanted to let everybody know i didn't disappear. we have a wood stove going that keeps a couple rooms downstairs fairly warm, and a generator going to run our well pump so we have water, albeit cold, and can use the toilets as well as run our freezer. we are roughing it for sure, but, i've always got my pot of hot water on the woodstove and as long as i've got my hot tea, i'm happy. i'll be back online soon!

On the Second Day of Christmas

2006-12-14T15:36:00.000-08:00

Look what I found in the precious little package I opened this morning! A beautiful soldered pendant created by Amy Huff. I only have one other very small soldered pendant, so I'm tickled to have it. To see what lovely gift the gals in group 2 opened, check out the 12 Days of Christmas blog.

Well, I am very happy to report that I'm feeling good again!!! The doctor put me on antibiotics as he was convinced I got some kind of bacterial infection after the flu- and after 3 days, I can feel the difference in my energy. I am so very thankful; I found myself smiling at everybody while doing my errands today.

One of my errands was an early Christmas present, for me, with my husbands blessing :-) I bought a brand new sewing machine; a computerized Janome DC3050. I am so stoked! I have a small sewing machine collection but they are all older mechanical machines from the 40's, 50's, and 60's. This new machine does 50 different stitches, 3 one-step buttonholes, and only weighs 20 pounds, which was the reason I got a machine; I needed a light one I could travel with. I think this machine will be perfect!

We have a BIG storm coming in this evening. We've already had lots of rain and the winds are going to pick up later. They are predicting gusts of 60 miles and hour, so there are going to be a lot of power outages around the sound. We've already lost our internet satellite; thank goodness we keep dial-up for a backup.

I played in the studio last night, and finished up this collage that had been sitting around for over a year. It was almost done, but not quite. It feels so good to have it *finally* done and on its way to a new home. I photographed the piece at a slant, unfortunately, so you can't see much of the green wooden frame around the edges.

On the first day of Christmas...

2006-12-13T11:29:00.000-08:00

Today is the day! I finally got to open package #1 of the basketfull of twelve little bundles I have sitting on the buffet, constantly luring me over, tempting me to unwrap just a corner and take a wee peek, but i stayed strong. And it was worth waiting for- lovely silver earrings with the most beautiful blue beads made by the talented Shari Beaubien. Thank you so much Shari; the craftsmanship is amazing! This swap was the brain-child of of project hostess Lelainia Lloyd who even started a blog to commemorate the whole process through photos here. I'll be unwrapping one handmade gift each day until Christmas and sharing it with you here.

and grace will lead me home

2006-12-08T13:01:00.001-08:00

I haven't written about it, but ever since I got sick with a bad case of the flu late last September, I haven't been the same physically. It's like the virus has burrowed somewhere into my body and every time I exert myself (by exert I mean spend a day shopping, or playing with the grandkids) by evening I find my glands swollen up like little balloons, sore throat, cough, and general fatigue and malaise. This has been a repeating pattern now for over 2 months, and I am puzzled at the viralancy of this bug. Has anyone else experienced something similar this winter? I haven't been to my doctor, so i made an appt. for tuesday. I found myself feeling discouraged after spending all day yesterday in bed (again!) and then waking up and feeling no better. I am drinking boatloads of tea with honey and lots of fluids.

Anyway, the point here is, my physical body has been challenging for me to live in these days, and I found myself feeling sorry for myself and even a bit fearful this morning, wondering if I'm getting the same auto-immune disease both my sibs have. Bad combination - fear and self pity!

As I sat here this morning reading some blogs, I read something that shook me back to myself. I'm quoting this from my very sweet and wise friend Judy from her interview with Artella which you can read on her website.

DM: What is your favorite piece of your own art and why?

Judy: "My favorite piece is whichever one I am working on that day. That is the piece that has my full attention and love. Actually, I am not all that attached to the work I create. I accept that my work, like my own body, will vanish one day and that in the bigger picture is not all that important. The joy and love is in the act of creating it.After that it is just an object to be cared for, admired or discarded."

You might wonder what this has to do with physical suffering? I'm not sure exactly, except that I know that the conditions I experience today, are part of a wonderful gift, the gift of my life, the life and reality I take part in creating. Everything is impermanent, I don't need to dwell on the future, as the future will take care of itself. To find joy and love in the moment, regardless of my conditions is the challenge. So today, although my body is hurting, my spirit is once again soaring. Thank you dear Judy! You never knowhow what you say, might effect someone else.

Shortly after I read that, I opened a book I keep in my bathroom. i randomly open it usually once a day. This is what I read today:

"You can choose to think in a higher way more often. Giving thanks will lead you directly to your heart and your abstract mind. By giving thanks, you bring light into your crown center at the top of your head, through the doorway of your heart. Because of the increased light, and new heart opening, many ideas and gifts can be sent to you. They may unfold in a week, or month, but you have created a doorway for many good things to come to you". - S. Roman

Giving thanks seems to be a healing balm for everything. I feel thankful for all of you!

6 Weird Things About Me

2006-12-06T07:18:00.000-08:00

okay.... i was tagged by Sally Turlington and Syd McCutcheon so I feel challenged to play.

1. i tried to think of something weird about me for 15 minutes (really!) and couldn't come up with anything...i think THAT is weird.

2. if i have to wear shoes, i wear my favorite shoes, the exact same shoe which i have in 3 different colors and i'm ordering another pair of them in black

3. i don't like to talk on the phone, it's a strain, but i love to hear my family/friends voices on the phone

4. i love people but i'm a recluse; i'll go for days at a time and not leave *the homestead*

5. i have the keen ability to totally ignore a messy house, piles and all, if i want to do something else instead of clean, which is most of the time

6. my favorite pants to wear in the studio are faded teal linen drawstring pants with holes and rips everywhere, the crotch is pratically missing. i keep another pair of pants nearby to change into fast if i hear someone driving up to the house

i tag anyone who wants to play!!

reading books and drinking tea

2006-12-05T10:24:00.000-08:00

Oh, and most importantly, spending a lot of time playing with my grandchildren. Here they are in the snow, having a ball. Weird we've had snow on the ground here for over a week - it's just not warm enough to melt it.

I'm off to a slow start today, so I thought I'd slow it down even father by spending some time on the computer, cruising blogs and websites, googling, you know... I AM teaching myself Photoshop Elements, and I try to put in at least a half hour a day into that. I bought an excellent book called Photoshop Elements 3; the Missing Manual by Barbara Brundage. The best manual I've found to date, and one I can easily understand, which, coming from a lopsided right-brainer, says a lot! I look forward to learning the tools well enough that I can figure out how to do whatever it is I want to do with photos and artwork.

I've spent lots of time lately holed up under my soft, worn, quilt with a cups of hot tea and a book. Just as I have several projects going at the same time in my art, i have several reads going at the same time. I devoured 'The Bell Jar' by Sylvia Plath in three days and I'm now well into 'Ariel; The Restored Edition', also by Plath. I'm reading 'the WAR of ART', a book recommended by artist Lesley Riley, and am finding this book to be an absolute gem at addressing resistance I might have in any area of my life. My bedtime read is 'Pilgrim at Tinker Creek' by Annie Dillard and I've got her book "Teaching a Stone to Talk" at the ready when I finish Pilgrim. I also just bought a copy of 'Anne Sexton; The Complete Poems' that I'm reading bits at a time. I'm so grateful to be reading again; there was quite a stretch recently, when i just wasn't able to read much, but a new medication I'm on is making it possible once again, and opening back up a whole new world for me.

I hope you are all doing well, finding some enjoyment in the changing of the seasons.

2006-11-30T19:49:00.000-08:00

Forgiveness is holiness, by forgiveness the universe is held together

--- Mahabharata

a page in my personal journal

2006-11-28T19:13:00.000-08:00

the day before thanksgiving

2006-11-22T12:33:00.000-08:00

i've spent the morning catching up in my november journal; this round robin will come to a close in December and then we'll all get our books back, I can't wait to see all the artwork people have done. Lou's theme is 'flying'; here is one of the pages i did.

now it's time to take a wee nap, then bake the turkey, dressing, and apple pie for tomorrow. I've already made the mashed potatoes, sweet potatoe casserole, and the fresh cranberry sauce. Heather is making the pumpkin pie (her first pie) and i'll make fresh rolls in the morning. then all i have to do is heat everything up and i can spend the day playing instead of working in the kitchen. Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends here in the US!

another rainy day

2006-11-21T10:38:00.000-08:00

I like rainy days and it's a darn good thing beingI live in the Pacific Northwest! I feel all cozy and warm in the house today, sitting here at the computer, drinking a steaming cup of hot Numi Water Sprite Ginger Oolong tea (thank you, Misty!) with honey - so satisfying. My day started at 4:00 AM; for some reason I was wide awake and ready to get rolling. I've got several things on my 'to do' list done, most are still undone, but that's okay - it's early.

I wanted to share a bit about my wonderful weekend in Portland, it was so much fun - just what I needed, lots of girl time and art time. Judy Wise is a wonderful teacher and talented artist; she generously shared a wealth of information with us all. I learned so many new things, the biggest being reverse painting, which I had never done. We did the paintings on acetate, but plexiglass and regular glass are other great options I would like to try. We experimented on small pieces in the morning, learning the techniques; in the afternoon, we started our large pieces. Diane brought all the materials, even mats to put our finished paintings in. She even made us little booklets where we could attach our small pieces and take notes. It also included information about supplies and techniques. It was a wonderful class in every way, I'm so grateful I was able to attend.

Judy and I stayed with Diane from Friday to Sunday, it felt like a slumber party, it really did! We ate, ate, ate.... did I mention that Diane is the most amazing cook? She created a wonderful spread for the workshop lunch as well as the additional meals for Judy and I. Talk about pampered, thank you SO much Diane, you are a real sweetheart. When the three of us weren't eating, drinking wine or telling stories, we were working on our art journals or other art projects. We were up till the wee hours of the night. I made 2 wonderful new friends that weekend and was inspired by all of my fellow artists during the workshop; a truly amazing weekend. Judy posted several photos on her blog, so you can head over there if youd like to see them.

This is the big piece I made. Everyone brought photos or pictures, but rebel that I am, I just wanted to create from my head and just have fun exploring the materials. Judy was supportive of us doing what we were drawn to do .... for me, that meant creating this odd little girl. I can't wait to go back to Innerstandings in January to teach the Feminine Icon mixed media collage class.

road trip, road trip!

2006-11-17T09:05:00.000-08:00

okay, not a long one, but i am driving down to Portland for the weekend, a good three hours from here. i leave in an hour and all my bags are packed (not!! I'm still in my pj's). but i do have my mp3 player by the door loaded with songs recommended by several of you that I'll be listening to the whole way. and of course my camera is sitting there too, with freshly charged batteries.

what's the occasion, you might wonder. Well, it's two-fold; tomorrow i am so excited to be taking Judy Wise's reverse painting class. She was invited to come and teach by Diane Havnen-Smith of Innerstandings, who has guest artists come once a month to teach workshops. It's an intimate environment, the class is small and so there is lots of time to personally interact with the teachers. I'm thrilled it worked out that I could be one of the participants as I'm such an admirer of Judy Wise's colorful and often whimsical paintings. This is the same place where I will be teaching a Feminine Icon workshop on January 27th. Diane has graciously invited me to be her house guest for the weekend, so I''m looking forward to spending time getting to know her and Judy. She mentioned something about making pumpkin pancakes for breakfast Sunday morning...yum. We're going to walk about the Sellwood area of Portland on Sunday weather permitting (no rain, please). I haven't been to that neighborhood in 20 years, so it will be interesting to see how it's changed. I expect I'll be taking lots of photos too, some of which i'll share when i return. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, talk to you again soon.

2006-11-16T13:33:00.000-08:00

the journey

today's painting

2006-11-14T13:01:00.000-08:00

For Sale on Etsy

just because it pleases me

2006-11-12T21:24:00.000-08:00

2006-11-12T13:29:00.000-08:00

More practice drawing. i'm having so much fun with this drawing-every-day goal. although the results aren't always truly representational, i'm learning so much that i'm sure i'll incorporate somehow into my artwork. i experimented with charcoal in this one. i haven't really done any painting or fiber art these days but i'm making sure i do this. thanks to all of you who have been leaving comments - I appreciate them all!

surpassing the sounds of ordinary speech - Take 2

2006-11-09T17:04:00.000-08:00

*sold*
I re-did the painting i posted a couple days ago, something just bothered me about it, and try as i might, i couldn't make it right. So i pasted the face of the sketch i did today and touched her up with colored pencils; I like this version much better.

more practice

2006-11-09T09:25:00.000-08:00

today's drawing; i noticed my emotions ran the gamut of excitement to frustration to determination to intense observation, etc.... so far i've been keeping my comittment to myself and drawing every day for 20 minutes --- YAY me!!!

The Song

2006-11-08T14:57:00.000-08:00

From somewhere
a calm musical note arrives.
You balance it on your tongue,
a single ripe grape, till your whole body glistens.
In the space between breaths
you apply it to any wound
and the wound heals.

Soon the nights will lengthen,

you will lean into the year

humming like a saw.

You will fill the lamps with kerosene,

knowing somewhere a line breaks,

a city goes black,

people dig for candles in the bottom drawer.

You will be ready. You will use the song like a match.

It will fill your rooms

opening rooms of its own

so you sing, I did not know

my house was this large.

------Naomi Shihab Nye

a practice sketch

2006-11-06T10:46:00.000-08:00

After reading DJ Pettitt's last couple posts, i'm motivated to start drawing. i've always been afraid of drawing and never been good at realistic renditions, but i'd really like to be. i'm going to start with 20 minutes a day, which will probably turn into longer because it is so much fun, the goal is the regularity of the practice. here is drawing one, a picture of a woman in a book. I used the position of her hands and body in the last painting i did. i turned the book upside down to draw her as that works much better for me at this point. someday, i hope to be able to draw things right side up so i won't have to stand on my head :-)

there is an very talented artist in our community who is willing to give me drawing lessons in her studio; i'm planning on doing that after the holidays.

I hope you're all having a great monday!

2006-11-05T21:35:00.000-08:00

surpassing the sounds of ordinary speech

2006-11-03T16:41:00.000-08:00

for sale on etsy

rain flowing down my window

2006-11-03T08:05:00.000-08:00

sitting here at my desk, listening to rhythmically sensual sound of stanley turrentine and his band.
the rains comes down, in streams or trickles but constant - typical weather for the northwest this time of year. i wonder why no one told us when we signed up for satellite service for the internet that rain and clouds may (will!) interrupt our service... for pete's sake, we live in the northwest, i think that's kind of an important detail to omit. we would have gotten it away probably, i don't ever want to go back to dial-up.

this poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer touched my heart this morning, and i wanted to share it with you all.

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.

I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

grand farewell

2006-11-01T08:37:00.000-08:00

Morning temperatures are in the twenties now, heavy frosts. i took a photo of this beautiful pink rose at twilight last night, using my macro and flash. one last breathtaking image of this gorgeous creature before she joins her leaves already scattered on the ground below.

a prayer to grow wings

2006-10-29T19:32:00.000-08:00

i spent a couple hours painting in the studio, time just for me. this is what came out. i can't say i like it or i don't like it. it felt good putting paint to paper and now i'm moving on.

7
For years and years I struggled
just to love my life. And then

the butterfly
rose, weightless, in the wind.
"Don't love your life
too much," it said,

and vanished
into the world.
---Mary Oliver

busy with art i can't show you

2006-10-27T10:00:00.000-07:00

for the past two days, i've been working on 12 gifts for an artists' gift exchange called 'the twelve days of christmas hostessed by the creative and organized Lelainia Lloyd of Tattered edge. unfortunately, Shhhhhhhh.....it's a secret, so i can't show you what i made but i can show you the pile of wrapped packages. Take a look at the beautiful tag attached to each gift, they are from Laini's Ladies collection, created by the amazingly talented Laini Taylor, aka Grow Wings .

i need to go set up my table at the autumn puget artist's league art show tomorrow. it's funny because puget artist's league stands for PAL; the only rule is that there are no rules, and no meeting - friends from the area just get together twice a year for a community art show. this will be my first, i've baled at the last minute for the past couple years. i feel like bailing again but i am going to ignore that thought and spread my introverted wings and go. i do enjoy meeting other artists and folks from the community and i'll probably have a good time. reading this poem, one of my favorites, by poet naomi shihab nye, always makes me smile and muster up courage from somewhere.

The Art of Disappearing

When they say Don't I know you?

say no.
When they invite you to the party
remember what parties are like
before answering.

Someone telling you in a loud voice
they once wrote a poem.
Greasy sausage balls on a paper plate.
Then reply.

If they say We should get together
say why?

It's not that you don't love them anymore.
You're trying to remember something
too important to forget.
Trees. The monastery bell at twilight.

Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished.

When someone recognizes you in a grocery store
nod briefly and become a cabbage.
When someone you haven't seen in ten years
appears at the door,
don't start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.

Walk around feeling like a leaf.
Know you could tumble any second.
Then decide what to do with your time.

reflections on the falling leaves

2006-10-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

i do love the wind. i'm sitting at my desk, watching the poplars and maples release their yellowed and brown leaves to the wind, each day less cover hiding brown bark bodies. the leaves are gorgeous, i do appreciate their suble and dramatic colors, the way they know how to float, tumble, or sail away from the tree branch, the only home they've ever known, to land somewhere unknown.

two days ago, the wind here was gusting, a sky of leaves, flying, floating. sailing, tossing about. standing in my yard, i bent over a pile of these gathering leaves, mainly big leaves from our giant maple tree, now as tall as the house. sadness washed over me as i picked up one leaf after another, noticing how each one was so unique, different from all the others, but bunched up one on top of the other, i tended to overlook them, see them only as a pile now. each autumn heralds pensive days, weeks, or months where beautiful and poignant feelings course through veins of meloncholy. I've come to expect this visitor, although there is little i can do to prepare for her. she just stays until she moves on, she has a room here, and will come and go as she pleases, heaven knows, even after all these years, i can't know her schedule.

anyway, back to fallen leaves. looking at the pile i had gathered in my hands, it occured to me that i needed to acknowledge them in some way, to say 'i see you - i saw you when you were a bud on the branch, when you grew into the beautiful vibrant green leaf that shown the greenest green in the sunlight, and i see you now, making your grand exit into the world of soil and stones. I had this ridiculous compulsion to pick up every leaf i could find and take a picture of it. when i look at something through my camera lense, i focus, i see what is there in my lense. i felt the leaves deserved that respect, to be seen. you may read this and think "she is being ridiculous, just silly", but these thoughts and feeling are compelling and true. of course i could never photograph them all, and i would certainly get bored of doing it after a very short while to be honest, but i did arrange my handful of leaves, one by one, on the deck, and took each of their photographs. i intend to do a piece with this collection of photos and thoughts, probably in my private journal one day. it's strange how these small acts feel so important sometimes, the deeper meaning wanting to be known, experienced.

down by the river where the green grass grows

2006-10-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

i bet many of you remember the rest of that one, this is all i can remember:
down by the river where the green grass grows
there sat XXXXX? pretty as a rose
along came XXX? and kissed her on the cheek

it came back to me this morning when looking at some photos i took day before yesterday, while i was down by the river. as i sit here nibbling my peanut butter and honey on toast, i read this poem by jane kenyon that took me deeper into that place i know so well.

Evening Sun

Why does this light force me back to my childhood? I
wore a yellow summer dress,
and the skirt made a perfect circle
Turning and turning

until it flared to the limit
was irresistible. . .The grass and trees,
my outstretched arms, and the skirt
whirled in the ochre light
of an early June evening.

and I knew then
that I would have to live, and go on
living: what a sorrow it was; and still
what sorrow burns
but does not destroy my heart.

I love her poetry and also that of her husband, Donald Hall. I just bought his newest book, White Apples and the Taste of Stone. i just can't express how deeply his words affect me, they are like little threads of light that burrow deep down into my bones like magic.

It's a cold, crisp morning, still in the low forties, but the sun is bright and shining - what a gorgeous fall day. The meandering river, the rain, and all the forces of nature have created a new and beautiful little pool in the meadow where there was only field grass and it's creatures. Now there are cattails, and river grasses, dragonflies dive and hover there, and we even see tiny fish swimming in the dark clear water. Walter has set up a chair at the water's edge.he likes to sit there and read in the quiet. After a moment or two of sitting, i find myself wandering along the river's edge, mesmerized by all the beautiful stones, relishing in the fact that i am so delighted by something so simple as stones, and realizing what a blessing that delight is. I chose my favorites for the day, and picked a handful of dried thin wild sweet pea pods, the color of eggplant. I also found a neat little pile of pulverized deep brown jagged rock in the midst of large smooth stones, tiny little pieces i collected to use as texture in a future painting. i wonder what happened to that stone, what crushed it? there was no evidence of anything else being disturbed...curious.
today i plan on spending time painting and making art. there is a small art show in Belfair, our tiny community, on saturday, and i will have a table there. mostly i look forward to meeting some of the other artists and folks in the community. until next time......

clicking our way through a portland neighborhood

2006-10-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

To top off a most wonderful Art and Soul experience, my dear friend DJ Pettitt (i just love you dj) invited me to spend Tuesday, the day after Art and Soul, with her and Deryn Mentock on a photo adventure extravaganza. Unfortunately, Deryn couldn't make it at the last minute, and although we were all dissapointed, DJ and I admired her decision to see her ailing grandfather instead of going on this day she'd looked forward to for so long. It made us admire her even more if that's possible. I've know DJ and Deryn through the internet for a couple years, but had never met either of them in person. I felt an immediate and strong connection with each of them when we met - it's so mysterious and special when that happens. Unfortunately, I only had a brief time to visit with Deryn, hopefully we'll have a chance to chat over dinner or tea one day in the future.
After we'd checked out from the Embassy hotel, DJ and I took off for the Hawthorne district in my trusty buick (thank you Nikki Blackwood for suggesting the Hawthorne neighborhood).It was exactly the kind of urban landscape we had both envisioned, and we immediately started shooting photos and didn't stop until hours later. After we were both tuckered out, and were ready to call it a day, we stopped off at Peet's Coffee House (i love peets coffee) and i had a coffee and almond biscotti, and DJ had a hot chocolate and chocolate dipped biscotti. Can you tell I have quite an interest in good food and drink??!! As we sipped and dipped and munched, we swapped cameras and had a chance to see what shots the other had taken. It was so interesting to see that often we were interested in the same subject matter but the how, what, and way we chose to capture the image was fascinating to see. I want to learn photoshop so I can incorporate more of my photography with my painting. Because I took over 200 shots, I'll be posting shots periodically.

just a bit more art and soul

2006-10-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

I can't possibly cover all I want to say about the event and the people I met at Art and Soul. Glenny and Cindy and all their helpers did an amazing job making it such a successful venue. I am going to go back next year for sure! On Saturday, six of us - Misty, Nina, Lesley, Jennifer, Doris and myself - piled into my venerable 1990 Park Avenue Buick to go to Fabric Depot, a huge fabric store full of treasures and having a 40% off sale to boot. We had only been there less than 10 minutes when I got this shot: Nina had found a beautiful fabric she was having cut, I think it was love at first sight for her. And do you see how full Lesley's cart is already??? Now that woman has an eye for fabric and she knew just where to go to find the treasures.

I spoted a beautiful meshy fabric kind of hidden by the cutting table and knew I had to have some. Well so did Misty and Jennifer when they saw it. If my memory serves me, it was priced at $98 per yard!! But with the 40% off, and only buying a quarter of a yard, it only cost about $20, and all three of us had cool scarves like the one Misty is wearing in the photo.A few more photos to share...this one is of Doris Arndt and Misty on our Fabric Depot shopping extravaganza. I had never met Doris before and I felt an immediate connection with her, she embodies sensitivity, compassion and humor all at the same time, I just love her and look forward to taking one of her classes sometime.

One of the evenings I ate out in Portland was at a delicious Thai restaurant in the Alberta area of Portland. What an interesting area, I would love to go back with my camera and have a photo day; so many interesting galleries, painted murals on outside walls, and refurbished funky stores that housed the most interesting boutiques and shops.
I had the pleasure of meeting the extremely kind and talented Kellyrae Roberts who drove Nina, Misty, and I from the hotel to the restaurant. There we met three of Kellyrae's friends; Laini, Alexandra, and Laini's husband Jim. The food was wonderful as was the company; they were all so friendly and interesting and the conversation was lively. I left feeling like I want to move to Portland!

The last three nights at the hotel I shared a room with my dear friend Stephanie Lee and we spent a couple nights talking (and giggling ) into the wee hours of the morning. She taught a soul stories and plaster class at Art and Soul this year, I so wish I had been able to take one - next time!! Stephanie is one of the most genuine, kind and honest people I know and I'm honored to have her as my friend. I talked with several people who took her class and heard nothing but rave reviews so if you get an opportunity to take one of her classes, I'd certainly recommend it.

more art and soul

2006-10-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

It wouldn't seem quite right for me not to share some of what i made in the classes i took, so i will. but to be honest, i don't attend the classes with the expectation of completing something - i go to soak up the material, the energy of the teacher, the energy in the room. having something to show for it is icing on the cake.
I do my best work alone so i don't expect great things coming out of a class where i'm learning. now that i'm home, i can't wait to dig in and play with the techniques i learned. The companionship i share with artists at these events is what feeds my soul. that said, i'll show you a few things i played at. here is the blackbird tea cozy i made in nina's class - of course mine doesn't have a blackbird on it but that's the whole idea - letting my original voice come out, my interpretation of the project.

I chose to use collages and paintings i had done and printed them out on muslin. they were the walls on my house, embellished with buttons, mesh, and such. my posts were colorful chopsticks i've had for a couple years and just knew they were meant for something - i just hadn't figured out what.i think they worked out perfectly and I was pleased with this piece. Like so many of us, I'm so attracted to the house shape, it represents security, solace, and happiness to me.

I also enrolled in Nina's From the Ground Up: Building your Own Spirit House class which was on Sunday. Unfortunately, I was only able to stay for an hour of it, as I wasn't feeling well that day. I had been fighting a cold that week, and had expended a lot of energy the day before getting ready for vendor night, and I was feeling too fragile to be around people. I just needed a day of quiet and rest - I'm such an introvert, it just annoys me to no end sometimes. I can only take so much activity and then I need to bask in quiet for a bit. Unfortunately, they are always friends I want to visit with until the wee hours of the night, interesting places to visit (like Fabric Depot), and it's easy to forget to eat. I did stay long enough to get all the directions from Nina on how to put the house together so I WILL be making one, and I'll post it when i do to prove it!
Here are a piece I did in Juliana Coles class. We worked in our journals and I intend to work on them more, they aren't finished. I like Juliana, she feels very authentic and I felt comfortable with her style of teaching. I'm someone that longs to be pushed out of my comfort zone, sometimes it's the only way I'll ever get there! Juliana has a gift for doing that.

And last but certainly not least was my class with DJ Pettitt, Layering in Luxury. I was SO excited to get into her class I can't even tell you. I've known DJ online for a couple years, but we'd never met in person. As so many others, I'm a huge fan of her work and her spirit. She was exactly as I had imagined her to be; warm, genuine, such a sweetheart. Her class was fantastic - she is generous with her knowledge and her materials, and if she ever gets rattled you would never know it. She teaches with a peaceful poise that permeates everything and everyone in the room, and creates an atmosphere conducive to tapping into our peaceful natures. And if that weren't enough, I had the amazing good fortune to share a table with my online friend Belinda Schneider, what a sweetheart she is! I have always admired her artwork and it was such a treat to spend time with her and get to know her a bit. Over the course of the day, I watched her create her book and I must admit, I was in awe, such beauty and originality. The pieces I made in DJ's class are very raw and the one on the right isn't even finished. I admit, i was much more interested in talking with Belinda, and walking around seeing what other folks were creating than working on my pieces. i was absorbing everything the information and the creative energy around me but not feeling the need to be 'productive'. My new friends, New York Madelline, and Lisa Call were also in DJ's class, and it was a pleasure to spend time with them both!

There are several other people I want to mention and I will do that when I post tomorrow. Also I will share thoughts and photos of the the wonderful adventure DJ and I shared on Tuesday when we set out for the Hawthorne district of Portland with our cameras - FUN!!!!

I'm going to leave you with a beautiful poem that was read at my sister's commitment ceremony last Saturday in Minneapolis.

So Much Happiness

It is difficult to know what to do with so much happiness.

With sadness there is something to rub against,

a wound to tend with lotion and cloth.

When the world falls in around you, you have pieces to pick up,

something to hold in your hands, like ticket stubs or change.

But happiness floats.It doesn't need you to hold it down.

It doesn't need anything.

Happiness lands on the roof of the next house, singing,

and disappears when it wants to.

You are happy either way.

Even the fact that you once lived in a peaceful tree house

and now live over a quarry of noise and dust

cannot make you unhappy.

Everything has a life of its own,

it too could wake up filled with possibilities

of coffee cake and ripe peaches,

and love even the floor which needs to be swept,

the soiled linens and scratched records...

Since there is no place large enough

to contain so much happiness,

you shrug, you raise your hands, and it flows out of you

into everything you touch. You are not responsible.

You take no credit, as the night sky takes no credit

for the moon, but continues to hold it, and share it,

and in that way, be known.

------- Naomi Shihab Nye

Life is Sweet

2006-10-21T09:03:00.000-07:00

Heather, Jeff and the kids are now in their new house, Heather is feeling much better, thankfully. I'm hoping the pregnancy improves hereon out. The kids spent an overnight with us last night and while Ethan watched cartoons, and Violet cuddled with me in those thick and soft footy pjs, you know the ones. what a delightl way to start the day.

Thanks to the advise of the kind and talented Lesley Riley, I have switched to the Beta version of Blogger and I hope to look forward to an easier time uploading photos; it's been so unpredictable up to this point. Although I didn't get to take a class with her this round, I was fortunate to have a 1/2 hour consult with her about the direction of my art, and where I want to go and what I want to do. It was very helpful, it helped me clarify which notions in my head were the truth, and which ones were simply fearful thoughts, parading as the truth. I look to Lesley as one of my art mentors and can't wait to take one of her classes again in the future - she is a wonderful teacher!

Back to art and soul....

I had been looking forward to seeing my very dear friend Misty again, and it was just wonderful that we had lots of time to share together with other friends, many whom I had met for the first time. Here we are in the Fabric Depot, playing with the veils in the wedding section and ooohing and ahhhhing over all the treasures in the store that we wish we could afford.

One of the most valuable aspects of these art retreats is connecting up with other artists and kindred spirits. I most often come to these things with a tank that is on empty, and it's a miracle how the sharing, listening, and laughter fills my creative tank to overflowing. I feel blessed to be part of this creative community that embraces me, foibles and all!! My hope while I'm there is to help be a part of filling other's creative reservoirs, to remind people how wonderful they are, and creative. I had some wonderful classes, two with the deep and soulful Nina Bagley, my first class was the Blackbird tea cozy and that class just *ROCKED*!!! I loved it! Nina just embues creativity and connection and the room feels saturated with that energy.
One of my absolute favorite things about the class was I met the most wonderful friend who sat next to me (actually Misty had met her at Artfest and had briefly introduced us on Thursday. Jennifer Frank is an absolute sweetheart - I honestly think she is part angel, her energy is so sweet and pure. We had a wonderful time chatting the whole day while we worked - her tea cozy was absolutely beautiful - I wish I'd taken a picture of it. I'll upload a photo of the one I made soon.

I've just begun to write about my adventures of the last few weeks, more to come soon.

i was carried off by a whirlwind

2006-10-20T21:29:00.000-07:00

These past two weeks or so it seems. So much experience, to live, process, and then try and share with you. I can only give you small bits at a time, as that is all my mouth can hold.

...I ask for a human language

to make its flying sound

across the air between us,

coming from me and then

separately from you,

and then to see the shape

of our words forming above our heads

like blessing held in their own bodies...

---Georgia Robertson

This is a photograph I took of statuary in Minneapolis last week, the most beautiful cemetary I have ever seen. The weather that afternoon was cold and blustery, the windchill must have been in the low twenties and I had brought only a thin coat. But I braved the weather and spent two glorious hours taking

photos of this amazing place. This one was particularly haunting, what could it mean?

As I typically do when leafing through a magazine, I've starting from the backintending to work my way forward. I guess that's okay, but I'd rather go back to the beginning....Art and Soul. Where do I begin... I arrived Wednesday October 4th, a day after my birthday, and checked into my hotel room with a very bad cold. I tried hard not to breathe or cough on anyone but I admit I wasn't magnanimous enough to stay home because of it, I had to go. Thursday I took Juliana Coles class - it was wonderful. I don't really have anything to show for it but some scrawlings on pages but maybe I'll scan them anyway and post them tomorrow. I like the scrawling - I like that she pushed us out of our comfort zone and pestered us to try more things, to stretch further every time. I ended up having to rest in my room for most of the afternoon so I didn't get to do all the exercises but I wouldn't hesitate to take a class from her again in the future.

It was wonderful to meet up with so many of my very dear friends and have the opportunity to meet so many more lovely people that grew dear to my heart almost instantly.

**Blogger isn't allowing me to upload any more photographs so I'll try again tomorrow, I only took about a billion!!**

Bon Voyage....

2006-09-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

The gals and I are heading to Portland for Art and Soul. Talk to you when I get back. In the meantime I hope you all have a wonderful couple weeks!

2006-09-24T10:15:00.000-07:00

2006-09-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

2006-09-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

2006-09-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

2006-09-24T10:06:00.000-07:00

2006-09-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

2006-09-18T11:08:00.000-07:00

2006-09-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

saturday

2006-09-16T15:15:00.000-07:00

the tree hugger

2006-09-15T18:18:00.000-07:00

La Luna

2006-09-12T18:45:00.000-07:00

2006-09-12T05:55:00.000-07:00

Sunday's doll

2006-09-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

the words are: "he confided in her, chattering on about swaying treetops against azure skies"

home is where the heart is

2006-09-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

she's a tall girl...

2006-09-08T15:53:00.000-07:00

another doll for Art and Soul vendor's night......

2006-09-07T16:14:00.000-07:00

I made a nice big batch of plum jam yesterday and got lots of housework done too, so today was my day to work on artwork. Here are a couple of the dolls I've made over the past week. They will be for sale at vendor's night at Art and Soul Portland. I've got lots on my mind but it's not spilling into words so this is all for now....

2006-09-02T18:54:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up with energy, feeling really good. I started my day walking our trail that starts behind our house. The sun was bright but there is always lots of shade in the woods. Such a peaceful forest.

Part of my breakfast was a handful of wild plums that grow along the trail. They are small, the size of a ping-pong ball, deep purple in color. And they are oh so delicious. Can you imagine how delicious a small soft plum, the flesh warmed in the sunshine, and picked right off the bush would taste? It is a bit of heaven, truly.They will only be around another week at most and then just a memory. We'll go out tomorrow with a ladder and a tarp and shake the branches; the easy way to get the ripe ones :-)
I ate them until I was full and then picked enough to fill up my camera bag to bring home.

I also noticed lots of filbert shells, tell-tale signs of the robber blue jays that stipped both our trees a day last week. I hope they all have an abundant stash for winter. I think Walter and I must grow the trees for the blue jays, as each year as they start to ripen we know what will happen and we make no effort to net the trees.

And last but certainly not least, is a photo of my little Violet Summer; gosh I love being a grandma - or "meema" as she calls me. And the big news: Violet and Ethan will be getting a baby brother or sister come next spring :-)

2006-08-29T08:02:00.000-07:00

click image for larger view

autumn is in the air
the blue jays are pulling filberts off of the branches
as fast as they can crack them
it's a bit comical
they say it will rain today
it smells like it might
i hope so, we need it.

Monday evening

2006-08-28T21:05:00.000-07:00

Life is busy, spending much less time on the computer lately, and more time with grandkids, outdoors, and artmaking. Finishing up this month's work in Kim's journal, part of the MMCA journal RR I'm in.

Monday evening sunset

2006-08-21T22:57:00.000-07:00

The family celebrated the 6 year birthday of grandson Ethan with a rich and tasty dinner at Red Robin, where he looked forward to and thoroughly enjoyed the wait staff clapping loudly while singing the Red Robind birthday song. I look forward to driving the last couple miles before reaching home; the views of the Olympics often take my breath away. I felt especially honored to witness this beautiful sunset on my way home from the birthday dinner, and because for once I had my camera in the car beside me, I can share it with you, too.

My Colorful Weekend

2006-08-20T15:55:00.000-07:00

At least once every summer I like to spend the weekend outdoors, dyeing and painting silk fabrics. Much of this weekend was spent doing that very thing. Many of you know that I have a business selling vintage kimono silks. I have quite a collection of kimono and obi - many are in very nice condition and those will remain intact. Most of them though are damaged and those are the ones that I take apart, sorting them into good condition, those that I will sell as is, and damaged. The portions that are damaged, as well as the plain silk linings, are what I dye and overdye - I just LOVE the idea of turning something damaged into something beautiful again! The first thing I do is machine wash the silk pieces in synthrapol - a product that strips any sizing or other surface contaminants from the fabrics. Then the fun begins. I mix up batches of procion mx dyes - the basic color families red, blue, and yellow and mix my color batches from those.

Once the fabrics have soaked in the dye/soda ash solution for at least an hour, I 'cook' the fabrics in my microwave (no NOT the one we use for eating - one just for this very purpose!). I zip a bag closed, leaving open only a tiny portion open on top for the hot air to escape - I haven't had an exploding bag yet! (knock on wood) - then I cook each bag on high for 4 minutes. After all the bags have been cooked, I let them camp outside overnight to watch the stars (and cure a bit longer :-)

In the morning I rinse the contents of each bag seperately (and rinse, and rinse!) until the water runs pretty clear, and then they all go through a hot machine wash with synthapol again - this time the synthrapol removes all excess dye from the pieces. All that's left is drying and ironing.

In the next couple days, I hope to paint and foil some of the pieces, oh boy, more fun! I have some ideas in my head of projects I want to create with the fabrics, hopefully things I can bring to Art and Soul Portland for vendors night. I'll also be bringing some bags of dyed and painted small fabric pieces that I'll be selling there as well. I can't believe how the summer is just flying by, there is still so much I want to do outside in this beautiful sunny weather....

I hope you are enjoying enjoying the summer too, thanks for stopping by!

A journal Page

2006-08-19T10:32:00.000-07:00

Last night I completed a page in Kim Logan's journal, one of the participants in the MMCA journal RR I'm in. It is coated with golden yellow beeswax. Click on image to see a more detailed version.

thinking towards the harvest

2006-08-17T11:00:00.000-07:00

As i was taking an evening walk along our trail last evening, i noted how the smells were changing, that i was smelling hints of the upcoming autumn in the swaying partially dry fieldgrass. that the crickets song sounded different now, like there was a thin echo that followed every note. the orchard looked so lush and inviting, i wanted to share some photos with you.

here is the apple tree that i talked about in an earlier post - the yellow transparents, their color is one of my favorite hues, like a transparent naples yellow. i'm the only one who will eat them though, as the rest of my family are quite particular about their apple attributes, and this one is not crisp. Here is a photo of one of our filbert trees, it's loaded this year and has the most delicious nuts. the blue jays manage to descend in a mob on the exact day they are almost ripe and clean the tree out in a day. i think we will net at least one tree this year to get some nuts for ourselves :-) i took a couple shots of the beautiful crabapple tree but both turned out blurry so I'll share that with you another time. Here is a shot of our bosc pear tree and one of our anjou pear tree; our big big apple tree, a late summer variety, is in the distance. the bartlett doesn't have a good set due to deer damage when it was a youngster so we won't get much there. I don't have a vegetable garden this year and really miss it. Next year a little one for sure

2006-08-16T17:36:00.000-07:00

A signature tag I made today for a calendar journal RR I'm in with a group of 12 women in the MMCA group; a good reminder to myself...

musings

2006-08-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

i don't have many words lately. in a day, i speak very few, write even fewer. i've swung to the far end of my reclusive introvert side. in 2 weeks i've left our place once, because i had to. there are moments when i feel lonely for people, for friends, conversation, but mostly i just want to be alone with my thoughts and myself. what a strange bird i am...

Guardian Angel

2006-08-12T12:56:00.000-07:00

for sale on etsy

Friday's Child

2006-08-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

She always felt most at home with the butterflies....

for sale on etsy

I've listed several other dolls for sale there too.

thursday's doll

2006-08-10T13:56:00.000-07:00

I got some much needed housework done yesterday evening so I could spend the day doll-making. I hope you're all having a delightful day as well!

2006-08-09T12:09:00.000-07:00

A photo of Violet on sea legs in the river a couple weeks ago

I have a vivid dream life. Often, if I wake in the night after a dream, there are symbolic images that just call out to be captured in my artwork. They feel strong, and full of color and energy. By morning most of the details are gone. I'm moving closer to the prospect of having a paper and pencil by the bed and writing it down. I must find a way to do it so that I don't disturb W as he is a light sleeper.

I do remember a delightful portion of one of last night's dreams. I was standing in the front yard of my childhood and looking at a yard across the street. I watched a deer who had his muzzle deep in the grass watching a jumping frog. I walked over to the deer and climbed on top of her, she was quite large for a deer. I rode the deer where I needed to go, on the road among all the cars and busses. I lightly touched her neck in certain places to indicate to her which direction she needed to go. Hmmm....it feels like it means something but I don't know what.

my first summer apple

2006-08-07T11:15:00.000-07:00

While I was taking my morning walk on the path this morning, smelling the cool fresh breeze, feeling the warmth of the bright but not-too-hot-yet sun, and trying to be mindful of the present moment, I found myself thinking of apples. This is going to be a bumper crop year for them, which means I'll be spending many hours picking, peeling, cutting, cooking, and canning them so I can replenish our pantry with apple sauce and apple butter. We have a small organic orchard, and one of the things I enjoy most living here, is watching the trees change. As I passed our *early* apple tree, a semi-dwarf loaded with 2" Yellow Transparent apples, I picked one and poked my finger nail into the skin to see if it was ready. A bite confirmed what I had suspected - the apples were ripe and ready for eating. And oh so delicious! Eating an apple outside in the fresh air is near the top of my list of life's simple delights; it has been for as long as I can remember. What a great start to the day.

I'm involved in the long-term project of digging out my studio. Sorting, purging, selling, cleaning, and rearranging. I am not one known for my long attention span, just the opposite, so after an hour of this activity, I magically found myself out in back of the house, paintbrush in hand, painting national geographic pages with citrosolve. Not that I need one more piece of this yummy paper, not at all. But I admit, I am addicted to the process, the mystery of the unexpected, never knowing what the results will each time I adventure in this process. Taking that a step further, I pulled out some objects to use as a *resist*, including leaves, mesh, and grass, and played with pulling out pages before I started and combining them with other pages based on color and pattern instead of the totally random effects I get if I used the pages in the order they are bound. This is a scan of one of the pages where I used leaves, I think it turned out very cool and I'm already longing to experiment more with it. Hmmmmm, I wonder what dilute bleach would do as a discharge agent when used with objects.....

Sunday's doll

2006-08-06T14:16:00.000-07:00

She was a bit of a problem child but turned out in the end :-)

The dolls are playing follow the leader...

2006-08-05T16:27:00.000-07:00

I'd forgotten how much fun these are to make! I finished this one this afternoon and hope to start on another this evening. I realize how time is just flying by - just over two months till Art and Soul (Portland) and I've got lots of dolls and artwork to create to sell on vendor night!

In Her World

2006-08-03T15:04:00.000-07:00

on my etsy

I finally did it

2006-08-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

I opened an etsy store where I plan to be putting up some of my artwork for sale, including some new art dolls that are in the works.

I listed this original

and a glicee print of this one.

the final book page

2006-07-30T16:33:00.000-07:00

I finished all the pages for Marissa's unbound book - this is the last one here. I clean my paint brushes on sheets of translucent waxed sandwich paper, and this is a collage glueing together torn pieces. I tied the pages together into a bundle with vintage ribbon, wrapped it in white and pale pink tissue, and tucked it into this little leather suitcase I found at the thriftstore and has been the receptacle of all the pages from the start. (I covered the inside of the little suitcase with cheery vintage-looking wallpaper and it has a clean, fresh feeling). I topped the tissue-wrapped bundle with a love note, a small tied bundle of fragrant lavender, and sprinkled dried rose petals over the top. It looks beautiful, I'm pleased.

a few more

2006-07-29T16:39:00.000-07:00

I had fun yesterday afternoon playing in the studio. These are two pages I completed for Marissa's book. I'm enjoying this project so much, as I consciously put my love and prayers into each piece. And I just got a call from my girl this weekend, and she's meeting lots of people (thanks to my very connected cousin whom she's living with), she's even going out, and enjoying herself - a lot!! Just three weeks after the 'non-wedding' and she's finding life does go on and how.

celebrating 26 years together

2006-07-27T11:08:00.000-07:00

Walter and I are celebrating our 26th wedding anniversary; gosh it doesn't seems possible and yet so much has happened during that time. These are some photos of us when we first met - doesn't Walter look dashingly handsome? What an odd couple we were, he had been attending graduate school and I had been hitch-hiking around the country, sleeping outdoors under the stars most of the time, and finding work when I needed money. Needless to say, his parents were NOT impressed with me initially - I was 10 years younger than Walter and a bit *airy* (still am). I chose to go back to school after we had been married awhile, I'd had both the girls, and had settled down. It all seems like a life time ago...

a work in progress

2006-07-22T11:03:00.000-07:00

We woke to humid warm temperatures; it didn't cool off much all night from the 105 degree heat we had in Belfair yesterday. I can't ever remember such high temperatures here in July. The air is still, not the hint of a breeze - just warm, heavy, and still.

One of the ways I'm coping with Marissa moving away, is doing artwork and journaling. I found a stack of 6" x 8" matboard scraps at the thrift store, all different colors. The called out to be pages in a book; and the little brown leather suitcase I found for a song, called out for recovering inside so it could become the new home to my pages. So, I covered the inside with some lovely wallpaper and suddenly it is so much fun to open and close it to see and handle all the pages I've done so far. I'll be sending the book to Marissa when I finish it - it seemed like the nearest thing to a piece of my heart I can share with her right now.

As Time Passes

2006-07-19T14:34:00.000-07:00

Marissa has made her way to the Twin Cities and is really enjoying it there. She's exploring the possibly of attending the College of St. Catherine to finish her degree if she stays on and after she establishes residency. She's already got her eye on a little studio apartment walking distance from the college and her cousins' house. I can hear the hints of sadness and homesickness in her voice, and everything here feels so different, so sad, knowing she no longer lives and works nearby. Still, I feel so much gratitude for this amazing opportunity that wrapped it's arms around her right after the devastating wedding fiasco, and the love and direction she's receiving from extended family.

I found myself working out lots of my feelings in the July journal pages I did for Kathy Wasilewski's calender journal, a round robin I'm in with 11 other MMCA members. This first page is a collage I did in 2004 when I took a workshop on Whidbey Island with Claudine Hellmuth -it seems an appropriate opening to head up the following pages.

THE WEDDING ... that never was

2006-07-10T17:57:00.000-07:00

after days of me crying and letting go, letting go, letting go
the day before the wedding
there was the rehearsal
and then the rehearsal dinner - his family and hers and wedding party
my family described the way walter and i looked as 'stricken' like we were attending a funeral
his family was offensive and rude to ours
at 9:00 AM the day of the wedding
he called M and said he was calling off the wedding
unless she signed the pre-nup
(her attorney had looked over the the pre-nup he had sprung on her and said it was awful,
and would be a terrible mistake to sign it - that it practically needed to be rewritten it was so bad, and there was not time to do it before the wedding)
M was strong, she stook firm and said NO, she would not sign it until after the wedding when both of their attorneys had worked on it and had come to agreement
(this whole prenup his family set up for him is a joke - he is no bill gates!!)

So, he called off the wedding.

hours before the
flowers were to arrive
the cake
the catered dinner for 125 guests
the DJ
the photographer
guests arriving at the gate
guests who had flown in from all over the country

she was devasted as you can imagine. but deep within her, she knows she will live through it. and I think she even believes me when I tell her she can create a much better life for herself now. I am so very proud of her, it would have been so easy to cave under all his family's pressure that morning, but she didn't - as much as she loved him, she stood firm, she held her ground.

My nephew and his family in the Twin Cities (St. Paul) were there - such beautiful and generous people. They have invited her to come and stay with them for a while. They are in their late thirties, have a huge beautiful home and are very connected with lots of people and activities. They have two beautiful young daughters who adore M and visa-versa. She will have a room/bathroom in their home that is like a mini suite. There she will have weeks or even months if she likes, to explore Minneapolois and St. Paul, the University, her heart and mind, and to grieve, while being surrounded by family who love her and offer her their strength. She will see a whole new world this much so much different from this little community she has lived in all her life. This will be the very first time she has lived away from here, far away from us - what an incredible opportunity for a 23 year old woman to make a fresh start. She's driving her car, and her sister will ride with her then fly back. My heart is so very sad for her, seeing her in so much pain, but also light with joy in knowing a much better life is ahead of her. As much as I'd miss her, I'm secretly hoping she falls in love with the area and decides to move there, find a job, and go back to school. Whatever she decides will be fine with me though - I'm just grateful she has this time and space to heal.

I hear my voice

2006-07-04T20:30:00.000-07:00

Girls Time Out

2006-07-04T09:52:00.000-07:00

I had the best time and I just had to share with my blogger friends. My daughters and I took off for the ocean for a 'girls time out'. We rented a room on the beach and spent the following 24 hours playing, giggling, and enjoying one another. We decided we wanted to make this a more frequent tradition. The girls rented beach bikes while I took off walking with my camera. It was very crowded, lots of folks with fireworks and kites, and horseback riding too. My girls love activities, so this was a great place for them; me, I prefer a quiet deserted beach where I can walk for hours, picking up treasure and getting lost in the thundering sounds of the crashing waves. I got that chance early the next morning, while the girls slept, I took a 3 hour walk on the beach - the tide was out so the sand was pristine, my footprints leaving their mark along with the seagulls. I could have easily spent the entire day walking that beach, it was exactly what I needed to restore my spirit and soul. These are the treasures I found on my wanderings. I also saw lots of crabs waiting for the tide to carry them back out to the sea, a beautiful starfish, lots of jelly fish, and clams disappearing into their deep sandy holes. My heart was bursting with gratitude as I walked the shore and I asked the sea how I could repay her for sharing her abundance with me. The answer I got a while later, was to make art with my treasures, to just make art!! So I started working on a piece last night and it feels like it's making itself. My reservoir feels filled again as I re-enter my hectic world.

On hiatus for a time

2006-06-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

I'll be taking a blogging break during this very hectic time. I'll be back in a couple weeks after the wedding. I hope you're all enjoying your summer, I sure am!!

It Feels Like Summer

2006-06-26T16:50:00.000-07:00

We've had record breaking heat here in the Pacific Northwest for the past two days; temperatures in the nineties which is something you rarely ever see here in June. People are heading to the water in droves, which is where Heather, Jeff, and the kids went this afternoon. Walter was at work (as usual) and I opted to stay home, and bask in the quiet! We're spending lots of time outside, sitting in the shade during the day. I haven't done any art but hope to do a bit this evening, we'll see...

Life's Simple Pleasures

2006-06-24T08:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, the gang arrived yesterday and last night was just one big happy love-fest, all of us grateful to be together again. This is what Violet found interesting when my back was turned; ah, the simple joys of pulling tissues out of a box, one by one, and flinging them into soft piles wherever they may land. My plans for homemade soup changed to roast chicken and pasta salad as the weather here felt too warm to really enjoy soup. It was all quite delicious. Ethan asked me to tell him a story before lights out, so we composed one together, one about a little boy (names Ethan, of course) who road his bike and came upon a treasure-box filled with gold, diamonds and pearls; - he gave the pearls to his little sister Violet. He had a bike that could turn into a fast motorcycle on demand, and the little boy could fly even though he had no wings, without even flapping his arms. I feel very blessed to be invited to enter his world and share his adventures; more photos forthcoming.

M is for Mystery

2006-06-23T06:21:00.000-07:00

Have you ever driven by a thrift store and felt a tug to pull over, that something special may be waiting for you? It happens to me on occasion, and when it does, I listen to it, and many of those times I have come away with some little treasure. It was going to be my lucky day again! There sitting outside the store on an old table was *M*. My hands were all over it at once, opening the hinged lid, happily surprised to see the green faded velvet lining inside. On the top is a large *M*, inlaid in a lighter wood. One of the bottom corners of the letter is missing, along with a big chip on one edge, and lots of scratches on the top. The price tage read 50 cents. I found my mind wonderiing about *M* who s(he) was, and what they kept in that velvet lined box. I don't know what I'll do with it, but I knew it was coming home with me.

Today Heather, Jeff,and the grandkids arrive - I'm so excited!! I had big hopes about how the house would look, all clean and tidy, even my studio would be in order. Well, here it is, the day of, and the house still needs more cleaning and tidying, the living room sits half painted, the flower bed desperately needs weeding, - you get the picture. It's true, I have been working long hours on art projects and other comittments that are now complete. But it's also true that I have squandered time I have had these past two days, allowing myself to get... *distracted*. This is how it often goes; I'll start cleaning, then look out the window and notice the way the sun is falling so beautifully on the meadow, the shadows, the shimmering leaves, and what I'm doing feels totally unimportant as I grab my camera and head outside. Or, I decide it's such a beautiful day, that the dogs and I need to take a least 2 walks. Or, I get a compelling idea that *demands* my attention, so off to the studio I run. So now it's Friday, and many of the things on my "to do list" remain undone. The odd thing is, the older I get, the less these "housework failures" torment me, and that feels freeing. I'm going to give it my best shot today, see how much I can get done, and then make a pot of homemade soup; when they open the door, the smell will tell them we've been waiting for them, that we love them, that they are so special to us, and that they are *home*. (Did you know that good homemade soup is magic that way?)

An Art Marathon

2006-06-21T08:18:00.000-07:00

I spent the entire day yesterday, from 7 AM till almost midnight (with the exception of a few small breaks), working on Sally Turlington's journal. The theme she chose for her altered calendar is "Not Yo Mama's Michelangelo & Da Vinci" - what a hoot! I worked on the month of June in the book. This is part of a year long journal collaboration with a group of talented artists from MMCA. Oh my goodness, the work already in this book is beautiful and inspiring; so much so that it's always a bit difficult to begin that first page. But begin I did, and I kept at it until I was finished. Doing this many pages in a day is a first for me, but knowing my daughter and family with be arriving in 3 days made it important for me to get it done while it was quiet, and I could put my whole heart into it.

my latest project

2006-06-19T14:45:00.000-07:00

I designed a scarf with vintage kimono silk fabric for a special project, it was fun. I included image transfers I made on silk, hand stitching, stamping with textile paints, and embellishing with buttons and beads. It was hard to photo all of it at once, so I did it in two sections included a close-up. I think I may be designing a similar one, but a bit wider with fringe, for a shawl.

feeling a bit blue

2006-06-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

These flowers caught my eye at the grocery store yesterday, sitting all alone in the flower tub, surrounded by bright sprays of golden yellow and white daisies, crimson mums, and the other more common flowers. I was hypnotized by the beauty of the single varigated blue and violet petals that delicately surrounded the nubbly golden centers. Without another thought I bought the entire bunch. When I got back to my car, I positioned the brown paper grocery bag so as not to disturb the flowers that were delicated positioned in the bag's center, the whole lot gently leaning towards the front seat. It was only then that I noticed one of the flower heads doubled over, snapped at the neck. I picked up the bouquet and as I examined it further, I noticed several of the other flowers had broken necks as well. I had been so enchanted with the rich color and texture of the whole arrangement, that I had neglected to see the individual flowers. That probably explains why no one else had bought them. It was a good lesson for me, reminding me how limited my sight can be when I get carried away in the moment with emotion, and how very different that reality can look when I look deeply and really "see". I put all the beautiful little petal heads into a water-filled crystal bowl that had once belonged to my mother. I actually like the arrangement in the bowl better than the stalks now in the vase. Everything feels a bit sad and poignant today. As the wedding steadily approaches, I'm having to let go of my baby girl, in yet a different and new way, yet another stage of being a parent. I remember so clearly when her dad and I were the loves of her life. Although it was a long time ago that she was that tiny little girl, this wedding is another severing, another reminder that she has moved on without me. I know it's a good thing, it's the best, raising our children to be strong and independent. It's just so hard each time we have to let go, yet again.

Walter is getting a half hour dance lesson today. He's meeting Marissa at the studio. They'll get a private half-hour session to familiarize him with the basic moves he'll need to know for the father-of-the-bride/bride dance. Marissa chose the song "Daddy's Little Girl" by Al Martino...I KNOW there is going to be some very wet eyes during that dance :-)

like chocolate?

2006-06-15T15:48:00.000-07:00

I have to share - I just discovered a bit of heaven, a bar called 'Ritter Sport'. It is made in Germany, dark chocolate with a marzipan filling. OMG!!!! And I just found out that they've been around for a long time and come in lots of flavors. No more for me until after the wedding; fitting into my dress is already a tight squeeze :-)

new books and a movie

2006-06-14T21:53:00.000-07:00

We rented the movie Winged Migration, what a beautiful film, really amazing. The documentary film took three years to make and focuses on the migratory pattern of several birds over all seven continent. There was very little narrative, just amazing photography of birds in flight, their habits and the incredible scenery of our planet. The wide range of music was choreographed to fit the scenes and they did a wonderful job. Meditative, heart wrenching in parts, and just beautiful.

And the mail brought me 3 books I bought on a splurge - these will probably be the last in a while as we're on a new and quite frugal budget - so I'm especially I got these in under the wire!!

Quilted Memories by Lesley Riley
Collage Unleashed by Traci Bautista
Alphabetica by Lynn Perrella

I'm looking forward to curling up on the couch and feasting my eyes on all the delicious eye candy.

the power of words

2006-06-14T06:54:00.000-07:00

I'm reflecting, what do I really know about any of this, I want to know but I don't really *know*. The older I get, the less i know. But as I've gotten older and hopefully wiser,I have taken on some beliefs, and one of them is I no longer underestimate the dynamic power of words, thinking them, saying them, believing or disbelieving them. If I don't believe something, I best not put it into words and say it. The power begins to sprout in thoughts, putting down roots that grow deeper with repeated attention and tending, waiting for the thought or belief to be spoken aloud, taken out into the sunlight, where it can crystalize, manifest, and grow. I find that tending my mind, and all the thoughts that take shape there, is a rigorous and never ending job, I try as best I can to remain vigilant and faithful; removing the lies, what would do me damage, or hold me back, and acknowledging and nurturing those thoughts which move me in the direction of discovering my authentic self, what I long to know and be, what I am. At almost 50 years old, I'm still such a beginner at all this. On good days,I begin my day with this goal in mind; to be aware and curious. It sounds easy, it's not; I try to do my best, I'm human, that's all I can do, and I try to be kind to myself when I don't do so well.

Which brings me to the conversation that prompted all this inner investigation and clarification. My lovely daughter, my youngest, is making the final preperations for her July 8th wedding. She had her first fitting a couple weeks ago, here's a picture of her in the fitting room, she's a beautiful woman, inside and out - I'm so proud of her.

She and her sister were raised in a liberal and free-thinking environment, we've always encouraged them to think for themselves, listen to their intuition, and follow their heart and dreams. She wants to get married, she wants to have a family. She's a junior in college, going part time now, and also loves being a student. She is marrying into a family that is almost exactly opposite from the one she grew up in - conservative, traditional, definately not free thinkers...I don't believe she yet sees what she's getting into, but she will learn. We've had several talks about marriage, about it being the coming together of two unique and individual people as equal partners. That is what she wants and expects.

They were going to meet with the officiant yesterday, a woman. That was a problem initially as the groom wanted a man conducting the service ( i start hearing alarm bells). A man was unavailable on that date so they *settled* for the woman. My daughter told me on the phone yesterday than O** wants the officiant to make the announcement at the end of the service: "and now I introduce Mr. and Mrs. O**** HisLast Name". He felt adamant about it, it's traditionalal. And he wanted the phrase "man and wife" not "husband and wife". OMG!!!!! I am horrified! When my husband learned this he said "your're going to have to have a good talk to her about this". Which I did, that day, before their appointment with the officiant. I learned she didn't want these things, she'd expressed it, and they'd gone back and forth on it - the compromise was "husband and wife" but the "Mrs O** LastName" would stay, he was fixed on that. She told me she went along with it because she didn't want yet another fight. He said it was traditional, and it was no big deal. We talked about how not all traditions are inherently good, it's a very good thing when the bad ones are extinguished - like slavery, women not having the right to vote, etc.
I reminded her how women had spent years fighting for this very change in wording because of the power in the words - the handing over of ones identity in that one sentence. She was no longer a Kendrick, she gives up her birth name, and with his version, she gives up her first name as well - she is now a MRS O....sounds a bit like property I'd say. I'm quite impassioned about this issue and when we were done talking she understood why, and had a sick feeling inside when she thought about going throught it, and was actually mad that he'd pushed for it. YAY!!! If she listened to me and decided she wanted to go through with it anyway, I wouldn't have said another word, I will respect her decision. But I don't want to see her compromise on something so important, something that diminishes her, all for the sake of keeping the peace - if it were me, it would be a deal breaker. He's probably not going to like me, he probably already doesn't. I can't help that, I will always support my daughter on her journey towards becoming her authentic self, as I will support him if he wants it, it's up to him.

finding my way

2006-06-12T22:01:00.000-07:00

this collage is combined with a photo i took on a river walk this evening

Gathering Petals

2006-06-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

I've been enjoying my old fashioned roses for the past month. Yes, they are wild, strong-willed, and often out of control, but I do love them. When I look at them, i feel happy and warm, much like the feeling I had visiting my grandma's house when i was a child. They look so *old fashioned*, in their butter yellow, pale pink, and crimson petals, climbing up and over our front porch railing. But alas, all good things do come to an end... they are now losing their petals and I feel a bit sad. It's time, once again, for me to give them a fearless pruning, and then just watch and wait, hoping for a second bloom in late summer.

I worked all day yesterday and on into the evening, getting everything ready to go out UPS today - I was hoping I would be done early so I could spend a day on the beach, the weather was perfect! But, I am thrilled that I did it, that I started it and that I finished it - the CPS article is done, the dolls packed up and it's all ready to go. Doing this has helped bolster my self confidence, which is something I seem to struggle with a lot. Now I'm telling myself, "see, you CAN do it, and you can do more, MUCH more!". I'm hoping if I keep encouraging myself in this way, and keep taking on new challenges and facing my fears, that I will evenutally believe, it with my whole heart.

I hope you all have a lovely summer day!

It's a 10 grain cereal Saturday

2006-06-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

These past couple days have been very busy, and the business has been productive which makes me feel happy. The energy around me and in me has been calm, no wedding dramas, and for that I feel grateful.

I have one goal today, to finish writing the article for CPS; I know I can finish it today if I stay focused; the staying focused part is a struggle for me many times as my mind jets off in opposite directions. I finished 4 more dolls (ones I've already posted pics of here) so I'll be sending off 8 dolls along with the article on Monday so it will arrive by the due date - nothing like waiting till the last minute! I think I work best that way sometimes. I'm looking forward to that celebratory glass of cabernet I've promised myself when I get done :-)

I haven't been making any art for the past couple days and I've been thinking a lot about a piece I did a couple years ago called "Clementine's Vision", so I decided I'd share her with you here:

And forget not that the earth delights to
feel your bare feet and the winds long
to play with your hair.
---- Kahil Gibran

A Poem and Pictures

2006-06-07T22:00:00.000-07:00

Soil for legs
Axe for hands
Flower for eyes
Bird for ears
Mushroom for nose
Smile for mouth
Songs for lungs
Sweat for skin
Wind for mind
---Nanao Sakaki

I spent a wonderful afternoon in Seattle with Terry Berg in her studio learning the fine art of polaroid and emulsion transfer. She is a wonderful teacher, I had a blast, and I learned so much. I seem to learn best through *mistakes* and so it was with this as well. The photos and transparencies I brought and wanted to use were either on the dark side or lacked the dramatic contrast I would have liked, but I learned and practiced the basic techniques and feel confident enough to experiment on my own should I decide to buy a Day Lab at some point. I tweeked these transfers a bit in photoshop to make them more viewable - I will incorporate them into a painting at some point in the future.

I made a transfer of my latest painting/collage:

A photograph of a doorway I took in Mexico layered with papers

Another photograph from Mexico - I love doorways

And yet another doorway - one of my favorite things to photograph

Benedicto:

2006-06-06T20:24:00.000-07:00

May your trails be crooked,
winding, lonesome,
dangerous, leading to the most amazing
view.
May your rivers flow without end,
meandering through pastoral valleys
tinkling with bells,
past temples and castles and poets' towers
into a dark primeval forest where tigers
belch and monkeys howl,
through miasmal and mysterious swamps
and down into a desert or red rock,
blue mesas, domes and pinnacles and
grottos of endliess stone,
and down again into a deep vast ancient
unknown chasm
where bars of sunlight blaze on profiled
cliffs,
where deer walk across the white sand
beaches,
where storms come and go
as lightning clangs upon the high crags,
where something strange and more beautiful
and more full of wonder than your deepest
dreams
waits for you --
beyond the next turning of the canyon
walls.
-----Edward Abbey

joyouslybecoming

Winter Solstice

On the Nineth Day of Christmas...

She's homeward bound

Another Blustery Day

On the Eighth Day of Christmas...

12 Days of Christmas - Catching Up

some journal pages

back on the grid again

Power outage here

On the Second Day of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas...

and grace will lead me home

6 Weird Things About Me

reading books and drinking tea

a page in my personal journal

the day before thanksgiving

another rainy day

road trip, road trip!

today's painting

just because it pleases me

surpassing the sounds of ordinary speech - Take 2

more practice

The Song

a practice sketch

rain flowing down my window

grand farewell

a prayer to grow wings

busy with art i can't show you

reflections on the falling leaves

down by the river where the green grass grows

clicking our way through a portland neighborhood

just a bit more art and soul

more art and soul

Life is Sweet

i was carried off by a whirlwind

Bon Voyage....

saturday

the tree hugger

La Luna

Sunday's doll

home is where the heart is

she's a tall girl...

Monday evening

Monday evening sunset

My Colorful Weekend

A journal Page

thinking towards the harvest

musings

Guardian Angel

Friday's Child

thursday's doll

my first summer apple

Sunday's doll

The dolls are playing follow the leader...

In Her World

I finally did it

the final book page

a few more

celebrating 26 years together

a work in progress

As Time Passes

THE WEDDING ... that never was

I hear my voice

Girls Time Out

On hiatus for a time

It Feels Like Summer

Life's Simple Pleasures

*M* is for Mystery

An Art Marathon

my latest project

feeling a bit blue

like chocolate?

new books and a movie

the power of words

finding my way

Gathering Petals

It's a 10 grain cereal Saturday

A Poem and Pictures

Benedicto:

M is for Mystery